THE WEST END TIMES- Issue 2
Keeping YOU In The Know
1735 Main Street West
Los Angeles, CA, 90021
Sunday, March 9nd, 1935


From Rags To Riches- Lottery Jackpot Reaches An All Time High!
Written by Christopher Wallace

Have you ever had a dream that you woke up floating in a pool of cash? Have you ever sat down at a dinner party with some friends and talked about what you would do if you ever won the lottery? Well, if dreams were to ever come true for anyone, last week would have been the day you would have wanted it to happen. The weekly lottery drawing had a total jackpot of over two hundred and fifty million dollars ($269,679,049 to be exact)! The drawing was done last Sunday, March 2nd at 8:00pm. It turns out that the first prize of the jackpot (eighty percent of the total prize pool) had been split between forty two winners, each winning ticket paying the owner of it an incredible six and a half million dollars ($6,420,930)! But the fun didn't end there, oh no. It also turns out that another six hundred and thirty one people won a share of the second prize, which was the remaining twenty percent of the jack pot, which amounted to over one hundred thousand dollars.

Rumor has it that one man had purchased nearly four and a half thousand tickets for himself alone. We at the West End times tried to look into this story, but couldn't find too much information on the man. We were able to learn more about his winnings though. It turns out that out of all of the tickets he had purchased, there were six first prize winners and seventy second prize winners, amounting to a total prize winning of $46,503,410!

There has already been close to nine thousand tickets sold for tonight's drawing. The jackpot currently sits at close to sixty seven million dollars, and is still climbing. Perhaps this may just be your chance to go from rags to riches over night?


Battle Of The Beards!
Written by Al Samson

Throughout our human history, the beard has been a very prominent symbol of manliness. It represents intelligence, strength and a man's integrity. Indeed, history has proven that some of the greatest men to have lived were bearded. From Abraham Lincoln to Van Gogh. From Confucius to the great Greek gods. Even Jesus Christ is depicted with a long, clean beard.

So when a group of men, some being very prominent members in the underworld, gathered in a park this week and began to publicly argue over their beards, no one was too surprised. Among the men gathered in the park were the Battista brothers Benny, Giovanni and oldest brother Andre from Los Angeles. They were accompanied by a friend and suspected associate of the West Coast Mafia, Joseph Ardizzone. The last and final man present was Mr. Vara-Treledees, a man from Detroit with ties to the Detroit Crime Syndicate.

Supposedly the debate began when Mr. Treledees publicly announced that it was he who had the mightiest of beards in all the land, and asked if any wish to challenge him. He claimed to have some type of magical mirror that spoke to him and told him that his beard was the fairest of all.

By a matter of happenstance, the Battista brothers and Mr. Ardizzone were walking through the same park. Our sources tell us that it was Mr. Ardizzone that first stepped forward, challenging Mr. Treledees' claim. The Battista brothers then did so as well, beginning with Giovanni, then Andre, and finally Benny. By the time the five men had finished showing off their beards the crowd was in a trance. People were screaming and cheering, clapping and whistling. Although it wasn't clear as to who had the most magnificent beard of the five, the crowd definitely did love all beards before them.

We at the West End Times have decided to put a nail in the coffin of this discussion and hold a poll. Who do you think has the most manly of beards? Which of the five men is the bearer of a beard so epic that it can only be called THE BEARD? We ask that you make your choice between Andre Battista, Giovanni Battista, Benny Battista, Joseph Ardizzone and Vara Treledees. Polls are open NOW, and the voters booth can be located at (http://mafia.org/comm-readpost.php?private&id=e56eea9a45b153de634b23780365f976) this adress. The votes will be tallied up and results will be posted in next weeks paper. Best of luck to all contestants!


Violent Crime Wave Strikes The Nation- Continued
Written by Shawn Wagner

Last week we at the West End Times had published an article regarding the rise in violent crimes across the country. As it turns out, this past week has brought us even further into the fire, with the amount of violent crimes not doubling or tripling, but actually increasing exponentially. It seems that the amount of muggings, kidnappings, bank heists and shootings continue to climb, no matter how hard the police try to interfere. On the contrary, it turns out that the more the police try to interfere with the ongoing crime sprees, the more violent they get.

Things have seemed to have escalated to a point where it is almost all out war between the Treasury Department and the Mafia Underworld. There has been a lot of blood spilled across the country this week for both sides of the war. New York Button Man and suspected Don of the Bronx John Nardi was one of the most prominent victims of this war. It is said that Nardi was given the nod to take out a Treasury Director of New York that was vacationing in Denver. Word on the street is that the Director had been coming down hard on Nardi as of late, trying to bust his gambling rings in New York and across the country. Nardi was found dead in the country home of the Director, who had shot him fatally in self defense. Paramedics tried to revive the dying Don, but it was unsuccessful. The Don was very liked and was well respected through out the community by both citizens and members of the underworld. His funeral was one of the most attended events of the past year, and many nice were said about Mr. Nardi.

Later that week, in what seems to be an underworld retaliation against the National Treasury Department, nearly two dozen directors were found dead across the country. All were shot dead and most were executed mafia style; a bullet to the back of the head while they were on their knees.

With a time of peace between the different criminal organizations across the country being ever so obvious, perhaps the struggle for power has taken a turn. It seems that rather than struggle and fight one another, the underworld has aimed their iron sights on the lawmen of this country and have begun to wage war on the government that tries to control them. Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear; the violent crime wave that has started a few weeks ago doesn't seem to be dying down, but rather making haste. Only time can tell what tomorrow will bring to this world of ours.

Joke Of The Week

Did you hear about the Italian Chef that died? He Pasta-way!


Riddle Of The Week

Answer to last weeks riddle: The Letter 'E'

New Riddle:

I stare at you, you stare at me.
I have three eyes, yet can not see.
When I blink, I give you commands.
You do as you are told, with your feet and your hands.

What am I?


Classifieds


1-Brooklyn Bookies - New York's only book makers, situated on the outskirts of Brooklyn. It's modern and will cater all gambling needs. It gives a total gambling experience. Up to date odds and betting advice served with teas, coffees and live radio commentary. Put your money where your mouth is!


2-Travelling much? Evading Law Enforcement got your energy levels drained? We have just the remedy for you! Be it in New York, Chicago or Sunny Miami.

Our breads are all hand rolled, made with only flour, water, salt & yeast. They have been made by our family the same way for over 30 years at Ottavio and The Italian Bakery in Victoria. At Ottavio, our skilled bakers produce hand made breads, pastries, cookies, cakes & gelato for our customers each morning.

Our cakes, pastries & cookies are all made from our family recipes dating to the 1800's in Torino, Italy. Our cakes are made with pure butter cream, just 100% butter & our own custard, nice & rich but not too sweet. All our cookies & pastries are made with natural products (sweet butter, nuts & fruits) & without color. We use only pure butter and extra virgin olive oil in all of our cooking and baking.

So call in and be greeted by a friendly face and and energy packed Bake!


LOOKING FOR WRITERS

Ever want to have a story that you wrote be read across the nation? Now is your chance! We at the West End Times are looking for writers, whether you are experienced or new to journalism. We offer great wages for writing articles. Topics are readily available to be written about or you can come up with your own. If you have any interest, please contact Mr. Jospeh Ardizzone by telephone, mail or by appointment at the West End Times head office. Address is 1735 Main Street West, Los Angeles, CA, 90021. Thank you.