THE MAFIA GAZETTE Issue 31
For All The News That Is News (E&OE)
18th November 2013
Editor In Chief: Carmela_DeAngelis
Managing Editor: Randle_McMurphy


MIAMI MELTDOWN
By: Randle McMurphy

War broke out on Saturday between NY Don James Burke’s Winter Tempest Society and Miami Consigliere Joseph DiVarco’s The Dying Breed. First to fall was Miami Made Man, Roger, who was killed whilst incarcerated in New York. The reason for the trigger of hostilities is not yet known, but the action from New York was swift and violent, with only two of the NY family falling in the process. NY Boss Sakazuki was killed battling MadMax, a Miami Capo. Later in the evening two Made Men battled it out and eventually saw Leonardo Palmese of NY fall to Miami’s Joshua.

The war has left almost all of Miami’s family dead or scattered, the only notable exception being Made Man Pink, who has since joined NY’s Winter Tempest Society. It is not known at this stage whether she had a hand in planning the Miami takedown, or she was simply a survivor granted refuge; however none of the other members of TDB ranked Made Man or above have been allowed to live. Excalibur, son of the late Evans, made a public offer of $50,000,000 to whoever killed Pink. He described her as submissive, disloyal, and a coward.

The fate of Miami seemed initially murky, with Street Boss and former WTS low ranker Martin Willoughby claiming the city as his own in a drug-fuelled street ramble. NY Consigliere Tommy Udo later contradicted this when declaring Miami, Atlanta, Dallas, and Denver all to be open to Street Bosses in a new and extended competition.

Joseph DiVarco and his Dying Breed were a quiet family, though reaching the rank of Consigliere he added some element of prestige to the city of Miami. With no connected crime families remaining in the city, Miami’s future is now uncertain, and the aftermath of Saturday’s short war is still being felt nationwide.


A YEAR IN THE LIFE…
By: Randle McMurphy

I asked LA Consigliere Emilia Ricci for a few words following her impromptu street party, on life in general and the year she has spent as a mobster. I shall let her speak for herself, enjoy!

“What has a year taught me?

Well for one I clearly have not worked out where the Don button is unlike my good friend James Burke, in fact I should make a note to ask him if he hid it after his recent promotion!

But on that note I would like to congratulate the head of New York on his recent promotion. It is well deserved, very well deserved and he worked hard for it, not only under Johnnie but myself prior to that.

So Randle, a year, what has a year within this life taught me?

First and foremost that friendship should never be taken for granted. By this I mean that people should not assume that the level of friendship stays the same because let’s face it things happen and circumstances change. That has been the hardest part of a year within this life of crime, losing friends and their family lines time and time again. Their kin are never the same, and people should not expect them to be. We all have a path to follow and it will not always be the one that we started out on.

It was said a few weeks back that I lead for fun. Really? For fun? I am sure that whoever said that has not led a crew recently. Now it was a lot harder when the crew was bigger, at my height I had some fifty odd members and it was hard going, you can't sustain that kind of a lead and what's more people will want to branch off and do their own thing. I will say that each of my auth's has earned their place within this society and they have done a good job, should I have been selfish and denied these people the chance? NO, why should I?

So no it’s not always fun but I have a small crew now, I am not the strongest, the biggest or the baddest. And to be completely fair never have I said this in the past, people's perceptions are just that. And because there is a shift in power it really does not alter things. I maintain good relationships with most cities, there are a few individuals that have made issues personal. Again this is down to them I will not play in the playground, the folly of my youth has clearly passed and I for one am too long in the tooth to get involved in that level of crap.

Rank, is clearly not everything yet people cling to it (I may well say that as I have not hit Don). I mean the rank of Made for instance it’s lost its lustre. I know on a personal level that I am enforcing different rules and regulations now, people will earn the rank, they will appreciate the rank and hopefully to mine at least that will bring back some meaning to it. Rank is not everything, well to some... but that's another story.

A year in the making and people's opinions will of course vary, but I remain true to myself. My decisions are my own, and would I change then? Well quite frankly no. I will not wage war on the world because I can, or because it’s expected. I will not get involved on conversations slagging people off on Irc Avenue or msn Street. I am one not that daft to leave a paper trail where people can quote me word for word and neither do I want to engage in a pass time that is fruitless. If I have something to say then to the person it will be said. What do people get out of talking badly about others when they are not there to hear it?

Life is good currently. I am happy in LA, will I get Don? Who knows, will I live for much longer? Who knows, one thing I will be is the topic of conversation for time to come. Why? Well clearly because I am a very important person and people can't get enough of me.

Basically Randle, I am here, like it or not here I am and eight months later I am still leading my city. And I am happy to do so.”


MARAUDING MYSTERY MUGGER
By: Junior Burke

A mystery mugger who has been tormenting the wealthy nationwide struck again this week, allegedly hitting Atlanta Street Boss JokaTheSaint for over $3,000,000. Little is known about the thief, his motives remain as mysterious as his identity, with not a single witness yet to come forward in an attempt to identify the assailant.

So far no injuries have been reported, and many victims appear reluctant to admit to falling foul of the predatory thief, Mafioso may well lose face at being deprived of their earnings so easily. It is not known if the mugger is living a healthy life with the proceeds of his crimes, or redistributing the wealth as some modern day Robin Hood. One Police department employee offered a theory that there is more than one attacker, given the relative ease by which the crimes are committed, though would offer no official view on the subject for fear of reprisals.

The fact that the majority of muggings have taken place on the East coast would point to a member of either the Detroit or New York families, though the possibility remains that an attacker could easily be flying across the country to keep his crimes away from his home turf, and cast the finger of suspicion elsewhere.

More on this story as it develops.


RANDLE McMURPHY: FRIEND OR FIEND?
By: NickCamorra
Is he a man just reporting the news or are his motives more than meets the eye? The new editor of the gazette has certainly caused a stir with the last two editions to be published under his watch.

There are several theories doing the rounds as to Mr McMurphy’s intention, whilst some can be dismissed as stupid rumour, some do carry some weight. As a reporter it is my duty to report the more credible theories.

Back in the day of The Cult there was a very powerful person who went by the name Murphy. It is said she had the ear of the future godfather and could often fund wars with her cash and vast array of weapons. Now some say that whilst Mr McMurphy may not want to go this way it is believed that he does wish to have the ear of the powerful figures of this land. Is he using the gazette as a way of positioning himself in favour?

The second theory is that he once made a pass at a female earner many moons ago and that the female in question turned him down. It is thought he now wishes to use his public profile to try and gain some sort of revenge for the blow out.

There are more ludicrous theories doing the rounds but I won't waste the ink on those. I have reported the two which in this reporter’s opinion hold most sway.


IT’S OH SO QUIET…
By: Joe Masseria

Following the short war between NY Don James Burke and the crime families in Chicago and Detroit, there has been an eerie silence descended upon the criminal underworld. Jonathan McCann was allowed to move some of the Detroit survivors to Las Vegas, while others joined up with Joseph DiVarco in Miami. Chicago and Detroit have now been occupied by high rankers from Burke’s Winter Tempest Society, starting splinter families of their own, and the sound of gunshots has become a distant memory.

With little hostile activity from any city in the nation, it appears now is a time for rebuilding, with many mafioso gaining promotions from the Godfather’s of their respective cities. With times of prosperity though comes the risk of complacency, and in a business where violence is a tool of negotiation we must wonder whether the next war is just over the horizon.

Speculation is rife as to where the next war would start, with New York and Los Angeles being the most obvious choices, as they are the two most powerful mob families in the country. However, by all accounts the relationship between Ricci and Burke is friendly, and no tones of friction can be heard. A war from within is also a possibility, with reports of disharmony from inside Miami Consigliere Joseph DiVarco’s family carrying much weight.

For now though, peace presides, and the nation can once again walk the streets without fear of flying bullets.

Editor’s note: This story preceded the events in Miami, but deserved an entry anyway.


OBITUARIES

Carlo Duff, you will be sorely missed. You stood up for me in my time of need, and I shall never forget your sacrifice. Rest well, your pal, JM.


WEEKLY MOB AWARDS
By: Joe King

Coolness by association award goes to… ChChChChia. Apparently she talks to Randle McMurphy, and that makes her cool too.

Manly Toughness award goes to… Tommy-Udo. I mean, just look at him. He is all that is man.

Horse name of the week goes to… Lou Reed. Sadly missed :(

Drunk of the week goes to… RonStoppable, cos it takes him fitenn minutes to lon in.


THE WORD ON THE STREET
By: Joe King

The word on the street is… Pink is really Yellow.
The word on the street is… Eddie_Stobart delivers his load efficiently
The word on the street is… Derogatory comment about EmiliaRicci
The word on the street is… Severe loves PS4


REVIEWERS WANTED!
By: Randle McMurphy

The Mafia Gazette is now actively recruiting reviewers for the business districts around the country. We would like to write a small review of a business from each city on a weekly basis, and need you to get reviewing! Pay rates are negotiable, contact Randle_McMurphy for more information.


CLASSIFIEDS
All classified ads are free. Mail your advert to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette Offices in Chicago to have them included in the next issue.

WRITERS WANTED
Gazette writers wanted. Good rates of pay. Hours negotiable. Apply to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette offices in Chicago.