Mosquito News
A paper with bite

Editor: The Hanging Man
Third Issue
November, 26th


THORN STABLES
By Jonjo O'Neil

As resident tipster for The Mosquito News I couldn't help but notice a now rising bloodstock owner in the reclusive Damien Thorn, high powered CEO of Thorn Industries. With a little digging it seems they have been heavily investing in our equine friends taking on training duties of the smart chestnut mare in Inferno, a horse in racing circles that many herald as the natural successor to The Devil's Own a tireless competitor of a horse who is pound for pound most feared across the states & a hot tip for the first victor of the inaugural Derby that has been anticipated to commence for some time, a prize meeting of the best horses in the land.

With Thorn now dipping his toe into the racing business are we now seeing a return of high investment citizen ownership? With the annals of history many have taken on such duties the famous duo of BubbleBoy and Beans constantly locked in competition until the gods of this world intervened and found them to be criminals cheating the system, Altobello was another such trainer of high regard in Reno a constant shadow never seen much, horse ownership has always been a bloodthirsty business, his mantle taken over by Detroit native Rocky Carrol and the fair lady Rhapsody, with the death of Mcgibblets many saw it as the declining of an age, the last of the citizen trainers and blood stock kings gone.

It would be remiss of me on touching upon the Derby to not discuss the other greats of the equine world as while The Devil's Own needs not fear any competitor currently, it is not the champion of champions, a strike rate that lags behind no less than five other competitors, aged horses they are, but as anyone in the racing industry will tell you, a horse doesn't know it's odds and these five now ageing champions deserve their chance in the limelight.

Al Capone : The most victorious horse still alive today, even at a staggering age of 23 it’s still pounding in victory after victory, although in a less intensive race slot, it still rears it’s head in the pm set now and again, to show that it can race with the best. So how many races does one of the finest racehorses we’ve witnessed in our lifetime have? A staggering 269 victories in 345 races. How much longer can this stallion continue to mount up the victories?

Which brings us to number two in the all time list, the much feared Zaldrizes at the age of 21 years young, this outstanding great of the racing world still has much to offer, a ridiculous 264 wins in a mere 310 race entries, a staggering income that is closing in on $138million, just how many carrots is that? It’s fair to say as long as no genuine decline appears in it’s ability that it will overtake Al Capone in the coming months, as age begins to get the better of the old warrior. On it’s day still one of the best whereas many others of older age have found constant nagging from the fresh new horses coming up.


Is it cold in here? No it’s number 3 on the list, the warrior of the north. It’s the unreservedly apologetic Oh Canada. Currently under the care of Los Angeles Don Side Glance’s stable, the only owner currently who holds two of our top five in that magnificent training facility of his. What an earner this horse has been, although it’s seen many differing stables the total incoming coming in at... $123,796,278million, not quite the figures of Zaldrizes but a year younger it’s still a competitive income, Oh Canada has raced in 283 meets winning a fine 243 of them the fewest losses of our top five with only 40, I know our readers like me would love to see how it fares come the derby.

From Sea To Shining Sea another of the old guard which has dropped out the now too competitive PM set, curiously the only of the current top five to be found on the open market, Don Ferdinand not one for sentiment as he looks to rid himself of unquestionably one of the greatest of our age. Career earnings we’re reliably informed by Ferdinand stand at $122,699,646 and he’s seeking a mammoth $40million for your chance at adding to your stable an absolute class act. 219 wins is it’s career total so far out of 314 races. Us here at the Mosquito don’t see it rising any further as it reaches the tail end of it’s career.

Rounding off the top five would be none other than that old slugger and all round mean fuck, yes it’s Bastard of the Dreadfort potentially the horse most in the decline of this top five with 199 wins in 321 races and earnings of $73million. How long can he remain in such hallowed company we do wonder, as lightly raced Devil’s Own is coming closer and closer to knocking it out, it’s own count standing at 189 wins in 205 races, the horse with the best hit rate when it comes down to competition.

Do any of your horses out earn our top five? We’d love to know, also if a derby was to come in the coming weeks or months, just which young stallions and mares out there could compete with these horses soon to become myth, with the current wars there is no doubt horses will change hands in the ever volatile world of the horse markets, these cutthroat businessmen and women play for keeps.


HUBBLE BUBBLE
By Nearly Headless Nick

It's been a long known and whispered fact that relations between Los Angeles leader Wesley and John Moss out of New York have deteriorated to such an extent that both leaders had made overtures to the now defunct LSM Vegas family in seeking to rid the world of each other, what kicked it off though? Former staunch friends and allies involved in a multitude of wars together, you'd imagine a brotherhood forged as they bled together, not so. Was the first pebble in this mounting landslide to be Moss busting Wesley's balls over sharply retreating from Detroit's Corleone? Or was it the vicious tongued Royal Tenebaum who greatly increased hostilities when it was felt Moss pushed his weight around by taking in a former Detroit member who was still classed as kill on sight.

Words were exchanged and backroom deals spoken off, recordings of meetings coming to light to both leaders, were outside influences trying to push the east and west Titans into war? It seemed diplomacy won out in the end as both leaders teamed up with the other cities in a combined hit, but the distrust had already been borne, yet still not action was taking place other than increasing enmity in the mails exchanged between the leaders of both cities, New York a family that had never really taken off in terms of numbers suddenly found its headquarters vastly increased due to wars that many will cite were down to Moss's own scheming back room deals, families put to the sword due to his machinations, only for him to guide the fallen a children's unto his embrace.

Los Angeles itself had been heavily involved in the Vegas war & Wesley a known pacifist seemed at odds to strike New York while it was at its weakest, the proof laid before him bordered on the obscene at times, yet he would not be rushed as he carefully deliberated his next move. A leader that will divide opinion in our bloodthirsty country no doubt, but one that is alive and the odds seem favourably so for it to continue, it's a results based business and Wesley is gaining those for now.

What finally made Los Angeles mount the attack? We're not certain but sources claim that Austin a former New York capo had approached Los Angeles with information that Moss was awaiting the rise of Trystane before committing New York to a war, Moss has strenuously denied these allegations, claiming Austin to be nothing but a troublemaker and high class forger.

Nevertheless it astounds us that such a careful man in Wesley chose not to use seasoned hitter Tenebaum as the first man on Moss but used Don Side Glance instead, it's no mockery we make of Side but reports clearly put him at a very clear third when it comes to marksmen from Los Angeles, second now due to the demise of Royal at the hands of New Yorker Terraria.

A tactic we thought Los Angeles would deeply come to regret as New York now informed of the situation set about taking apart Los Angeles high ranks in Royal and Bruno before Wesley finished of the bane of Los Angeles in Terraria himself. John Moss looked friendless as he hopped out of town and tried to make a run to a safe house, Azucar arriving on the scene only to fall to his smoking gun, Moss had thought himself home and clear for the time being, only for Austin to attempt a hit on his now slumbering boss, a failed attempt with Moss fleeing the scene yet again already wearied from his earlier engagement with Wesley.

We'd be forgiven for thinking the final chapter was about to be closed on New York with Moss reeling and in hiding, funds drying up & close allies nowhere to be seen, we'd be "Mistaken" as a Miami made man has shown in his ruthless takedown of Austin, is Mistaken working alone? Was it personal? Or was it the case of a Miami gun throwing down the gauntlet and letting Los Angeles know they're in trouble. As of now no public punishment has been meted out, it wouldn't be a war with no Miami involvement now would it?

RIDE MY BICYCLE
By Lance Armstrong

Not so much an earth shattering howl, more a gentle wave as the leather clad Pistoleers motorcycle gang took Nevada for it’s own, it was like a synchronized swim meet as they made way to the town hall. Long hair flowing in the wind, utterly dark shades and shiny leather waistcoats. Like the wild west all over again as Dark Wolf stood at the staggering height of a giant stetson upon his mighty shoulders, with such fanfare it made us here at the Mosquito wonder, just where has the invisible like hellraiser been? We’ve not heard the loud roars of his engine for quite some time now, such is the man's aversion to participating in anything that seems like war.

It was to be the usual leadership speech, as he outlined the rules that would govern the now mobless Sin City it was all pretty stock.

1. We ask that those people below the rank of Mademan, please keep your weapons holstered. We don't want to risk a bunch of young trigger happy people running around shooting at Gmen accidentally hitting the wrong folks. Those folks who are mademan or above, feel free to shoot at the G Men all you like.
2. As for the business district, we certainly encourage people to come and open businesses here in Vegas, and look forward to having you set up your business here, however once again i would like to keep this limited to made men and above. If you are below that rank, and wish to open a business here in Vegas, please contact myself or the club's VP first and maybe we can make an exception for you.
3. Please refrain from any random attacks, mugging, or kidnapping while here in Vegas. Mugging and kidnapping is fine as long as both parties are aware and agree.

We do wonder just how Wolf will enforce these rules with his constant forays into the unknown, it also seemed the many leaders of our country bypassed attending too in what could be seen as a slap in the face to the new crew. The only interesting exchange that of now up and coming shooter Mistaken showing his canines reprimanding Wolf over his rules, only for another Miami based resident Joe to jump to Wolf’s defence.

Wolf would have replied to Mistaken we’re reliably informed but at this point one of the Motorcycles backfired and Wolf was rushed from the scene to a safe house.



+++++++++

ADVERTISEMENTS

Stand & Deliver, that’s what it feels like as you enter into the Highways Inn downtown New York, I swear the bartenders should be wearing a mask, such is the price of the drinks and I felt swindled even as I was served. If you can handle loud mouth cubans and goatee beards then this my friends is the place for you. The prized Golden Balls jackpot tickets are readily available, so drop on by. Tickets still available for the golden balls draw, enquire to 0800 Carlito

+++++++++

OBITUARY SECTION


As ever the funeral homes have a constant flow of freshly prepared bodies, many cities lost vital members of their family this week, one such notable death would be blind New York Don Terraria, will we ever find that dog of his? Some small scuffles broke out in the funeral home also, as we enter an age of heightened funeral disrespect.



Funeral for Terraria
Born: Aug 13th 15 4:24PM in Las Vegas
Died: Nov 24th 15 4:27PM in Chicago
Rank: Don

Dearly beloved,
We have gathered today to say our final farewell to yet another victim of violence that plagues our cities.If Terraria had a chance to say some final words before passing. I'm certain they would be...
The light.. I.. I can finally see the light.

2015-11-24 22:32 - Ted-BundyYou stayed citizen for the longest time sucking off the tit of whomever you could for protection.
Ranked to don a rank you didnt deserve, and got too fuckin cocky.

Rest in peace Asshat.

2015-11-25 03:45 - JackMasonJack looked over to the dead Ted and spat on him. A little man shrivelled up now, death found him perfectly.

He turned to the dead Terraria and gave his respect.

"RIP Don Terraria, what a man and fighter you were. Taken before your time"