THE MAFIA GAZETTE Issue 34
For All The News That Is News (E&OE)
7th January 2014
Editor In Chief: Carmela_DeAngelis
Managing Editor: Randle_McMurphy


NEW YEAR MASSACRE: OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW
By: Peter Parker

Following the New Year celebrations, party goers still filled the streets after a night of future promises and wishes for the New Year, this picture perfect moment was shattered around 10am on the 1st of January when what can only be described as an immaculately planned slaughter of the LA Mob leader, Mickey Rourke and his family began.

The Los Angeles Police Department described the incident as well calculated and ruthless leaving the Consigliere in a pool of his own blood within three minutes of the shootout beginning. Police Chief Hammond is investigating a police source which has revealed the extent of the planning gone into the killings of the Los Angeles 'West End Gang'.

It appears Richard Kuklinski of Chicago met several times with newly authed Boss of Atlanta Anthony Durso and discussed the future of Los Angeles without the West End Gang. Having both come from New York it was no secret that Kuklinski and Rourke never saw eye to eye, never exchanging so much as a passing word or a mail between them. Rourke's family was growing in size, he was recruiting young mobsters and although he lacked the size of the Chicago family, he had the ambition to make something of LA and one day could rise against Chicago and Kuklinski knew this.

He planned to hit him where it hurt the most, taking LA from him and with a willing Durso open for a move back to where he had made his bones in his youth under Don Ricci, the men were set and began gathering a close knit team.

Kuklinski started by bottoming out the names of the security detail that protected Rourke and rumours suggest a personal visit on their days off was enough to sway the men to come around to his way of thinking regarding their employment. As the clock struck midnight for the New Year and Rourke partied on through Richard Kuklinski, Ricardo Caine, Anthony Durso, Tony A, Antonio Ferizzi, Rocky Merlino, Harvey and DeadMau5 arrived by plane in downtown Los Angeles.

Word on the street didn't take long to reveal where Rourke was partying and at around 10 AM he left the club escorted by what he thought was his entourage of security. This was not the case and eye witnesses report Rourke staggered to the middle of the road before turning back, to see the assembled hit team standing with what was once Rourke's security detail now belonging to them. Ricardo Caine held a gun to the head of Rourke's newest recruit and blew the brains of MagicTouch across the sidewalk with a one fatal shot. Rourke could only 'laugh out loud' as he looked at Kuklinski and knew his life was over, his dream of Los Angeles had been pulled from his hands and he would never meet the Godfather to be ranked to Don.

Richard raised his gun and fired, hitting Rourke square in the chest, dropping the heavy set man to the floor now winded and scrambling for his gun as blood flowed from his mouth. Rourke discharged a round, not aimed as it struck the floor in an attempt to fight for his life. Richard then turned his gun on the one remaining loyal bodyguard, whom police have identified as Merlando Waddle, killing him with a shot to the head. As Rourke lay on the ground bleeding out, Richard approached the body and raised his gun before killing Rourke with a final fatal shot to the head. Witnesses claim the whole incident lasted no more than three minutes before the men moved to the surrounding streets to clear them of Rourke's followers.

DeadMau5 lay in wait outside the apartment of Rufus Rizzi and has he emerged to put in his daily effort, the Chicago Capo pushed the barrel of his gun into the back of his head before spraying the majority of it across the LA business district.

DeweyLizardgut, a Wise Guy by all accounts, woke late from his New Year celebrations and on hearing the news tried his luck and taking a shot as Chicago Underboss Chia, the bullet was absorbed by her bodyguard and DeweyLizardgut fled to Las Vegas where he turned his gun on Las Vegas boss and leader Jackie Cogan for reasons completely unknown. After a short exchange of gunfire with Chicago Capo Bugsy, it was Don Kuklinski himself who arrived and provided the finishing shot, laying the Wise Guy out dead in the middle of the Vegas strip.

Two hours later Kuklinski dispatched Rodney Jones to LA, making very short work of Red Ranger, the remaining Caporegime Sloth was targeted and the Chicago Made Man took to brutal execution of the slow talker and shooter. Doug-MacRay was then found dead, after trying to kill the invading Anthony Durso, who made short work of the youngster killing him in self-defence.

Hours passed before what were the remaining two prominent figures left, made men Giacomo Gannotti and Rickie Sabatini made attempts to preserve their own lives, Giacomo apparently sharing a conversation with Kuklinski via mail asking for a pass or the chance to fight Tony A or DeadMau5 in a duel. With no casualties thus far and the whole event gone to perfection, Kuklinski denied the safe passage, tasked Capo Thor with the disposal of Giacomo, Thor killing all security personnel before dispatching the final shot under the watchful eye of his Don.

Kuklinski seemingly loved the use of his traps and ambushes and tempted Rickie Sabatini out of hiding to a quiet street on the promise of an invite. Rickie was more than happy to accept, thinking he was saved, but Thor was stood in the shadows and emerged to kill the Made Man with a single shot to the head.

With all noteworthy figures killed at this point the LAPD expect the final few to be picked apart as LA makes way for its new family and leader Anthony Durso. Whilst the people of LA have seen such violence on their streets Kuklinski boasts that not a family member of his received a scratch in the disposal of Mickey Rourke and the LA based family.


BRUTAL BURKE BANS STREET SELLING
By: Randle McMurphy

New York Don James-Burke yesterday further extended his power-crazed persona by taking to the streets and banning public auctions nationwide. The auctions have grown in popularity in recent times, and have facilitated the fair sale of all manner of illegal items from bullets, guns, and favours to the contracts of employment for unwanted bodyguards. With all offers being open and public, these sales have generated a positive image and ensured the sellers got top dollar for their products; however they appear to have fallen foul of the WTS leader.

Some sources close to the NY Don have intimated that the issue has been seized upon by Burke as a way to show his authority after a lengthy hiatus over the Christmas period, with rumours surfacing of dwindling relations between WTS and their satellite families in Chicago and Detroit.

Detractors have even gone as far as to question Burke’s mental health, with his demeanour becoming increasingly aggressive, and portions of his street speech turning to almost incoherent ranting. At one point the Don said, “These guys think they’re reckless. They don’t know the meaning of the word. Hiding in their beds praying that everything will be OK whilst others fight for them. They’re so damn reckless aren't they? Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself.” The statement seemed addressed to nobody in particular, and was followed up by a veiled threat of a massacre as people were leaving his address.

It is not yet known what other family heads think of Burke’s auction ban, as none attended his speech, though the coming weeks will likely tell.


AN INTERVIEW WITH THE SON OF Nick_T
By: Randle McMurphy

Following the death of EmiliaRicci and her LA crime family The Misfits, I interviewed the son of one of her Consiglieres, Nick_T. His father’s namesake, he looked a lot like the late Mafioso, and reminded me a lot of him in his mannerisms. We started the interview promptly, and my first question was to ask whether he thought his father or Emilia had any idea an attack was imminent, with relations between the two cities seemingly friendly. Nick answered that his father was aware an attack was coming, and had tried to warn Emilia repeatedly. My next question was what Nick believed led to the attack, and his answer did not disappoint.

“When it comes to the fall of LA, there is a list of things that I think about. It first happened when capo Lewis March attacked EmiliaRicci. He failed and it ultimately led to his demise. The next few weeks were just suspicious. There were random NY members passing. Then there were new people coming to LA looking for work, descendants of NY mobsters? Who knows?

What I do know is this…

A few random people joined LA under the pretence of "new to this thing of ours, and people returned from the old country." Some of these members including Mulan and Jun Li attacked NY members. There was her and a few others such as Kenny McClean. I believe these people came to LA and attacked NY to give them reason to take us out. Everyone knows Detroit and Chicago wanted us, and many NY members as well.

I believe along with other members (that I'll leave unnamed) that these new people joined LA, then sacrificed themselves to give reason for an attack on LA. Many people inside the hierarchy of the LA Misfits warned Emilia. And I know time and time again I was told I was paranoid and it wouldn't happen. That Don Ricci and Don Burke were close friends and it wouldn't happen. She wouldn't believe me. Said it wouldn't happen. But after all, this is the mob, and people need to start thinking like it.”

I then asked Nick if it would not be EmiliaRicci who held ultimate responsibility for the actions of her members, considering she recruited them. He failed to give a solid answer, only repeating his theory that several newer Misfits were NY plants.

Asking him about his views on the appointment of (the now late) Mickey-Rourke to run LA following Ricci’s demise, he commented: “I think of it much like i think of the appointment of Gigante and Kuklinski in Detroit and Chicago. It bothers me none. A family with 5 dons and almost 6, they're hungry. I sit at the table and watch them eat.”

My final question of interest was regarding his currently employment. Nick joined up with the crime family that were responsible for the death of his father; I asked if this was a survival move on his part.

“My father would have lived if he hadn't had stood by his family and fought. It doesn't seem to matter who I joined with, they’re all ultimately run by the same person.”


A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Happy New Year loyal Gazette readers! I hope you all had a good festive period, and we here at The Gazette just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you a healthy and prosperous new year.


WEEKLY MOB AWARDS
By: Joe King

Tyrant of the week goes to… James-Burke. Hail, glorious leader! Worship him or he’ll kill us all…
Death of the week goes to… Death. Someone killed Death. Time to break out the ice skates!
Tryer of the week goes to… Jerome_Collins. Well, it’s nice for him to win SOMETHING!


THE WORD ON THE STREET
By: Joe King

The word on the street is… Gumby likes to be held down…
The word on the street is… Alphonse proposed to James-Burke, and he said yes!
The word on the street is… Astro sews up his pockets.
The word on the street is… Zadie bribed Burke to win the Mafia Awards, but with what?
The… word… on… the… street… is… fucking lag…


BUSINESS REVIEWS
Do you have an establishment that you want reviewed by the Gazette staff? Contact Rox “Scoop” Bauchredner to set up an appointment. Feel free to message Rox Bauchredner directly to set up an appointment.

Rox’s Business Review of the week:

Establishment: Soda Pop Shop
City: Detroit
Owner: Jack Dillon

If you are in town visiting Detroit for a business meeting or you have moved there on a permanent basis. I highly recommend visiting Jack Dillon’s Soda Pop Shop.

At first glance, the visitor to Detroit might bypass the Soda Pop Shop all together. But buried within the Detroit business district is a gem that I encourage all to visit. The Soda Pop Shop has been open for quite a while. Most days you can get in with virtually no wait, however the response for service is usually expedient.

Jack and his staff welcome you with a variety of foods and drinks to satisfy the most adventurous palates. Jack is always waiting with a warm greeting and friendly smile that will definitely bring this reporter back for an encore visit. The facility itself has a welcoming atmosphere with several private rooms for the most sensitive of meetings. Located blocks away from the closest police station, it is and excellent location for those groups that hope to bring no attention to themselves when they gather.

Next time you are in Detroit, be sure to stop by and visit Jack at the Soda Pop Shop. Tell him Rox sent you. Happiest of Holidays to all.

CLASSIFIEDS
All classified ads are free. Mail your advert to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette Offices in Chicago to have them included in the next issue.

Writer for hire. Any subject considered, also expert architect so able to put together blueprints for new businesses. Contact Dino_Sforza for prices.


WRITERS WANTED
Gazette writers wanted. Good rates of pay. Hours negotiable. Apply to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette offices in Chicago.