In Your VASTE - MIAMI VICE SPECIAL- Issue 10

EDITOR'S NOTE

So much has happened in such a short period of time that the articles I've written have been outdated by the time I've drafted them. I've tried to trim the out of date ones as I've gone along but apologises if I've missed any.

As a side note, how can your paper better serve you? Would you like to advertise your business? Feel free to have an ad in the paper for as little as 5k. Are you worried about your stashes being raided? Feel free to store cash in the editor's safe for low low rates. Feel free to discuss directly.

FINAL WARNING

The government has shown recently that no one is safe from the recent clampdown on cloning and identity theft that has blighted our shores for many years. Recent FBI figures show the numbers of criminals to be in excess of 6000 although its rare for there to be more than 20 criminals seen recently at any given time. Unless people are only present for short periods of time, something isn't adding up at all.

The government has made examples of many including high ranker Al Fabinchini, who is known to have been executed for fraud through cloning and identity theft, and has issued a stark warning that this behaviour will no longer be tolerated. Some leniency may be shown if you admit your wrongdoing through the usual channels or if you register any reason why you might appear to be a clone such as being an identical twin. Please consider this your final reminder.

MIAMI'S VICES
By Rico Tubs

After a lengthy trial, Miami Don Al Fabinchini was executed on the morning of October 1st on numerous federal government charges. Al was incarcerated late on the evening of September 30th after his Consigliere and sometime lover Lucy "Luscious" Legs committed the grievous mob sin of turning rogue on her own family. Shortly before Lucy died it was believed she triggered a chain of event that led to the eventual capture and summary execution of Miami’s leader in a brutal revenge act that saw family turn on family.

Tax evasion took down Al Capone. For Al Fabinchini it was something just as benign and innocuous; horse fixing, horse doping and identity theft charges.

To understand the circumstances around the execution, In Your Vaste will take you all back to a time in early September when horses in races began to act strangely. Three legged nags and horses who’d never placed in a race began exhibiting strange behaviour and winning 1st place in races. Bookies and gamblers alike were baffled by the turn of events, but all roads led back to Miami. Every time a long odds horse won a race it was owned by a member of the Miami Misfits. Paperwork for the ownership trail often started with an unaffiliated citizen where it’s believed the horse was given enhancements before being handed back to Al to enter the final documentation and collect the winnings.

It’s suspected this scam brought in hundreds of millions of dollars. Initially starting with a few races here and there, before, in the end and final days, new regulation were enforced every other race was fixed with the rest of the criminal underworld believed to have either caught wind of the ongoing race fixes or were complicit.

Notorious citizen stable handler known only as Ambiguous was believed to have taken his own life by fixing a curtain to his neck and throwing himself down a flight of stairs due to how much money and prestige he lost.

If there was one criticism to level at the Government at this time, it would be that the identify theft allegations were laid at Al and his family's doorstep as early as the 9th of September with no action taken. One such identify theft victim, Ariane Grande was executed on September 17th yet no further arrests nor executions were made leaving some onlookers extremely puzzled as to how one of those involved could be killed but the remainder were left to continue to gain notoriety and rank in the underworld.

For the Mob the next steps are to understand what will happen to Miami. The options for who will take over the family look bleak from the outside, with Smalls being the early front runner. Smalls is semi-famous in mob circles for attempting to create a new identity to join another family due to being passed over for promotion before sheepishly returning to the fold. Hardly the kind of behaviour most families would tolerate

In Your Vaste will follow the Miami developments closely over the coming days and weeks.

Special mention: Please note at this time In Your Vaste refuses to comments on the allegations that Al spent a little too much time with his horses. These rumours are entirely uncorroborated.

WHEN LUCY MET CRAZY
By Meg Ryan

A Consigliere dead. A family in disarray. The events leading up to the execution of Al Fabinchini can in part be traced back to Miami Consigliere and advisor Lucy "Daddy Long" Legs. Lucy lived a checkered life some how managing to both charm and offend almost everyone she came into contact with. An incendiary character combined with aspects of a personality disorder; it was no surprise when her behaviour eventually exploded into chaos.

If the rumours are to be believed (Which in this case, they are), Miami had planned to attack Denver’s very own Crazy Gang residing at mental institution, The Loony Bin, sometime around Tuesday or Wednesday. Al Fabinchini’s famous stable was well known, and alarm bells were sent ringing when the entire stable was put up for sale in an attempt to raise the funds required to purchase ammunition, weapons and bodyguards for upcoming conflict. It was the second war Al would have been part of, and as in the case of the first war he suffered from a terrible lapse in judgement and subtly telegraphing to all he was planning something big.

The reasons for the attack were unclear, but in part seemed to stem from Lucy’s own family history of hatred for Crazy as well as desire to show strength in the face of a poor showing in the recent New York v Detroit conflict in which Al himself was hit by a Made Man through his security detail, and forced to flee at the hands of Turbo and others during the conflict. Plans for the attack were leaked into public domain and the plans pulled at the last minute, resulting in the city going into damage control and assuring all involved no war would be forthcoming.

Incensed by Al’s change of heart, and knowing pulling out at the last minute is far from safe, Lucy in an alcohol and drug fuelled rage commenced the attack on Crazy reportedly getting off 12 shots l at her detail, and seeing half a dozen bodyguards lose their life as they exchanged fire at each other. Miami to their credit upon realising what Lucy had done arrived in Dallas and fatally shot Lucy proclaiming the act as rogue.

By then the damage to reputations had been done. It transpired that Lucy had turned government witness and had spilled the beans already in a candid letter to the Government with evidence and documentation that led to Al’s arrest and execution. As is the case with Miami’s horse tampering, questions have to be asked of how much the upper echelons knew of what was going on behind the scenes and how accountable they are for the sins of their Crew leader. Many questions will be asked of Miami's new leader Santino but if the whispers in the street are true, many of the leaders are already in disbelief at Santino's attempt to make Al's execution to be a gangland style shooting perpetuated by the Feds instead of just admitting that his former leader was a cheating ¢*#%.

THE STABLES HAVE TURNED
By Bojack Horseman

Horse racing stables and ownership has long been intertwined with the Mob in America. It is a show of prestige, as well as way to funnel dirty cash into other avenues and explain to the IRS why they have 100 million dollars in their bank account despite only working part time at an accountancy firm.

Miami’s stable developed from illegal tactics has long been the envy of other cities containing winning and placing horses that have stablised, pun intended, the gambling industry. Prominent citizens in New York in Mickey The Mole and Jasteer Mereel own a collection of fine horses, with notable shout outs to several in Denver who have also been involved in attempting to train horses.

Detroit whilst leading on the criminal front, had fallen behind the pack. However, thanks to some lightning reflexes and contacts at the maintenance hub, Mako was able to grab the finest horse in the game securing the documentation of horses including ‘Super Legs’ and ‘Chocolate Dancer’, who have since had their registration changed to Lola Bunny and Bugs Bunny respectively.

As rumours began to spread of Al’s incarceration in a federal facility and the recent clampdown on ‘Clones’ and identity theft, they made moves to secure the other remaining horses in the stable paying up to $10 million per mane for horses including Korbinian and Ottos with the money falling back into the hands of the Government once all Al’s assests were seized. Amonst the hundreds of millions of cash, up to 3,000 favors were secured and returned to the hands of government spokeswoman, Black Aliss.

POST WAR CITIES UPDATE

In our last edition we covered the outbreak of war between New York and Dallas against Detroit, Miami and Los Angeles in a conflict that spanned just under a week and saw countless dead across the main families involved. The resolution to that war came when Consigliere Turbo refreshed and renewed from his walk re-entered the conflict battling against Al from Miami, T-Mac from LA, Mako from Detroit and meeting his eventual doom at the hands of Stone.

Following the end of the war, Detroit MVP Stone announced on the streets that he’d had the craziest week, problems with his sleep and would be moving to New York to start up a new family there. Whether this new family will operate independently from former allies Detroit or would be part of a larger syndicate remains to be seen.

Elsewhere cities not already claimed by an established family would be open to Street Bosses to rise up and prove themselves worthy. Already Dallas has been claimed by Henderson and his Park Row associates, Atalanta claimed by Frank Rizzo and the Rizzo gang, and Chicago claimed by Heimdall and his Watchmen. Las Vegas was for a time a battleground, with Micky Pierce in somewhat embarrassing circumstances killed by a blow to the head from Son of Bob’s coffee pot.

In Your Vaste will watch with interest as to how the cities develop

S F FAT'S DONUT OF THE DAY[/B]
By S F Fat

As many of you know, from previous issues of this paper, that I tour the country visiting bars and reviewing them. After my last review, I thought I should stop and revisit Admin's Place to see whether anyone had grasped the concept as yet and to my disbelief, despite my previous review and suggestions an absolute donut who goes by the name of Easy Money enters, despite no doors nor windows, walks to the bar that doesn't exist and orders a whiskey before lighting a cigar. Now he's not the first donut to do something similar, but he is definitely the first one to do it since I highlighted that this isn't a bar so if you can't work it out by looking at the damn place, read an effing paper won't you? I honestly hope to god someone gives him the bucket of piss to drink because he's clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed and I doubt his taste buds are even that refined because who orders a whiskey when you can get a fine single malt whisky from the Highlands instead.