In Your Vaste (tabloid) - Issue 3

EDITORS NOTE:

I've been accused of having biased reports lately so we've made special efforts here to contact Harry Winston to hear his version of events with regards to the Cal Velaro bloodlining scandal which has literally torn our community apart lately. Despite being laid up in hospital with Don Savaglio in critical condition from a near fatal run in with Albert Fish he did manage to give us his versions of events. We here at In Your Vaste will run with any story that has been submitted anonymously or not and me running this story is proof to the impartiality of the reporting here.

There's also a few other things I felt necessary to clear up, people have asked me to pick a side on the war, In Your Vaste will remain firmly against bloodlining and as such we support Albert Fish in his efforts. The other question people ask is who my forefathers are, I strongly believe this is an unnecessary thing to ask as my forefathers actions will not impact mine (plus if I do join a life of crime I don't fancy being bloodlined) but, as I'm bored of answering the question I will state now that my forebears went by the name of Andreanet. Please do not ask me again.

Thanks for reading

Vaste

THE CAL VELARO STORY
by Harry Winston

"Good morning Vaste, I wanted to start by thanking you for allowing me the time to air my version of events. First and foremost every hit my family has been involved in since I've been running the family there's been a speech explaining why in streets.

There are a number of things why we went for Cal, he's the kind of guy who never frequents the streets I've been in bars with him whereby I didn't like the vibe of him, is this a reasons to die? Of course not. But it's always the little things that build up when you consider all the major things too, well.

So he becomes a Don in the quickest time possible, now if you're a shining star like that it definitely puts eyes on you and when you don't go to the streets at all, questions are raised. Then he whacks one of my members who hasn't been active for a while without asking for my blessing first, which I don't like. I saw that a personal insult. Then I also have a friend in Miami who is repeatedly being bullied and belittled by him.

You factor in the fact he's also shot a Miami member and it becomes questionable about who is he helping? I then get told that people are recruiting for a takedown and a meet is set up. This guy gets Don his leader has no consiglerie yet he continues on as Don what's his motives?

He lies about where he's from too which we'll say isn't a reason nor anywhere near why, but when you're already distrustful of someone's motives for a number of reasons such as, he's looking for excuses to whack Miami ranks by angry mails, it would suggest the guy is potentially going to be a problem and a dangerous one.

As soon as he's attacked he has a guy log on shank a Miami capo to death one that's been widely circulated has some difficulties. That to me would confirm this guy potentially had an agenda and we were vigilant in flushing him out and by Fish's stance a family that was days ago having a massive argument between the leader and right hand and one in which the Leader was about to retire. Suddenly they're balls deep in this without dialogue? I'd say we've flushed them out as working together with Cal for some means of a takedown especially as he was sent down to Miami by fish.

All in all the guy seemed as if he was going to be a mighty issue, he was killed and we have the biggest war the country has had for a very long time, that indicates to me something was going on and we flushed it out before it was them surprising us, bear in mind NY sent him south and NY have repeatedly asked me to whack Miami."

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, Harry Winston's versions of events.

WATCH OUT WES IS ABOUT

It is widely reported that LA heavy weight and hitter Don Wesley has given up with his retirement and is vying for some blood. It has been noted that Wesley has taken up residence in New York after a meeting between Slick, Albert Fish and Riitz. So great is Wesley's proficiency with a gun that he met up with the three heavy hitters alone.

Local business owner who prefers to stay anonymous stated "They asked me to open up the shop early and I told them I wanted a big order for breakfast. Now I ain't the type to be speaking no stories but I knew there was something about those men and when I head them talking about torturing Don Savaglio I knew these weren't the type of men to be trifled with even the police didn't want to be around them."

It has been suggested that New York's position was laid out at this meeting with Detroit and Miami believed to be the main focus of the attacks. Denver appears to be safe for now but it isn't clear whether there is any bad blood between the two families.

Most surprisingly is the news that LA consigliere Charles Floyd has been shot down after interfering with Wesley's hit on Miami's special need project Jimmy Todaro. Jimmy managed to escape with his life so we know Charles' sacrifice wasn't in vain.

RIP CHARLES FLOYD

Charles was a good man and he helped all those around him even taking the time to fund the founding of this paper. Charles was a charitable man who focused heavily on the personal appearance of his associates. He was also a philanthropist and it is believed that he has left a sizeable collection of antiques to the city of LA in his will. Charles will be remembered by the whole of the city of LA and his passing already leaves a gaping hole in the hearts of many.

RIP Charles.

Charle's business operations have been passed to Carmine "Petface" Milano and any protection monies owed in the city of Lost Angels should be passed to him immediately.

DEMENTIA IN THE MOB

With Donut's losing Charlie Chang and MackWilliams starting an equestrian quest to locate his long lost PSP questions are being asked as to whether the Mob are losing their marbles (pardon the pun).

It's believed that this epidemic is only going from bad to worse with Scarlet Giovani even losing her ability to spell when she asks is there any rest for the waery.

If you are finding yourself rather forgetful lately please seek the assistance of a medical practitioner.

PUBLIC SENTENCING OF THE GLADE FAMILY

It has been announced today that the Glade family have been deported and barred from revisiting the country after being found guilty of verbally abusing other mafioso. The publishing of this verdict goes against the usual modus operandi of the government although there was some disclosure of facts in the famous bloodlining case.

In Your Vaste welcomes this move and is hoping to see many more publications of these cases. In Your Vaste also hopes more is done to convict more people of bloodlining as this seems to be one of the leading causes of people leaving the USA.

It is rumoured the members of the Glade family may try to regain access to the country and there are huge rewards for any information provided that assists with keeping our borders secure. If anyone has any information please contact a member of the Federal Government.

IN LIGHTER NEWS:

In Your Vaste would like to publicly congratulate Alex Savaglio for being our Hero of the Week. We have learned that Alex has personally housed a family member who has lesser abilities (we're not talking about Jimmy Todaro either) and has done everything possible to ensure this player has enjoyed his experience and attained a decent rank within the game. Not only has Alex encouraged this player he has also protected him against some of the nastier elements of this world such as bullying and trolling etc. Congratulations Alex for being our Hero of the week.

In a bizarre turn of events Alex Savaglio has also been awarded Villian of the week for not protecting his family member Cal Velaro and for enlisting outside help for the hit on Cal. Although it's not in our policy to get involved in the inner workings of a mob family this behaviour is bad by any standards. Hopefully Don Savaglio has remedied the situation before his made members consider a revolt against their leader in the form of a coup.

CARE IN THE COMMUNITY - Learning With Jimmy T

In Your Vaste likes to do it's bit for charity whenever it can and so we've been working with Jimmy Todaro, the mafia's pet idiot, to start an educational programme to help even the most simplest mobster to learn something. As today is the 4th of July we're going to teach you all about Independence Day.

Jimmy, today is Independence day, it is the day that all of us Americans gained independence from the evil occupation of the English after the war of independence. It is essentially the birth of our country and quite probably the most important date in the calendar. Ironically though this is probably the only time we use the English format for saying the date.

Happy Independence Day and God Bless America.