THE WEST END TIMES- First Edition
Keeping YOU In The Know
1735 Main Street West
Los Angeles, CA, 90021
Sunday, March 2nd, 1935


New Medical Miracle- It may just shock you!

Recent reports show that the government has finally given the go ahead to medical researchers to begin human testing of a device known as the Hyman Otor. Invented by Doctor Albert Hyman and electrical engineer Henry Hyman, this new device is said to be the future of the emergency room. The way it works is quite simple: A hollow needle is used to pass an insulated wire to the general area of the heart, which then delivers an electric shock directly to the heart. According to the two inventors, this shock could very well be used to kick start a heart that has otherwise 'given up'.

After the approval of this machine by the government, the emergency rooms across the country wasted no time testing it on patients that would have otherwise been dead. According to our sources, it has been very successful. Indeed, there are reports of at least three individuals from New York and one from Las Vegas that have been 'revived' back to full health using the Hyman Otor. Critics are giving good feed back, and labs are showing great results.

We wasted no time trying to catch up with one of the patients, pro football star and suspected criminal Richard Sherman, that the machine had been used on in the Miami General Hospital. We interviewed the man in the Miami State Penitentiary where he was serving his sentence for robbing the Miami National Bank.

"Mr. Sherman, is it true that you were involved and charged in a Miami bank robbery that resulted in you taking a nearly fatal injury from the guards?"

"It's 'Sherman', there's no 'd' at the end... unless you're Penny." He laughs. "Ahem. Sorry, right.

I might have in the area sure, but that bank was robbed 15 minutes earlier. Those cops were just looking for someone to shoot. I was in fact fatally wounded, pronounced dead at the scene. But they were able to resuscitate me at the hospital somehow, much to the dismay of the Miami PD I'm sure."

"Yes, Mr. Sherman According the reports filled out by paramedics, you were fatally injured and pronounced dead on scene Please forgive us for confusing the situation, but this is a very unusual occurrence. So, the reports say you had lost a lot of blood and were unconscious. It also says that upon arriving in the emergency room, your heart stopped working. Tell us, Mr. , what did you see at that point? Were you conscious and aware of your surroundings? Were you dreaming? Did you see a white light?"

"I was unconscious. I don't remember anything at all really. It was like I had been knocked out. I did dream though, it was a strange dream about Alfieri and his girlfriend Rupert. After that all I remember was waking up in a recovery room handcuffed to a bed. The feds didn't look too happy to see me alive neither."

"That was the next question, Mr. Sherman. What was it like to wake up from this event?"

"Eh, lady, what do you think? I got shot three times, one bullet hitting me right in the middle of the chest just missing my heart. I woke up with bullet holes in me, and was handcuffed to a bed. I can tell you now, I wasn't going for my morning run, that's for sure."

"Thank you, Mr Sherman. We appreciate your cooperation."

So where will we go from here? A pill that can cure all disease? An injection that will give immunity to all infections? A cream that can give youth to the elderly? No one knows for sure, but it certainly does look like we are one step closer to achieving human immortality.


The Battista Brother's Rise To Power

The streets of Dallas hadn't been home to any sort of organized crime for quite a while. That was until suspected mobster Andre Battista touched down in the lonestar state and made his way to Dallas.

Not much is known for fact on this story, but word on the street explains it as so:

Andre came from a large family, and along with his siblings Benny, Giovanni, Jimmy, Mickey, Danny, Angelo and Tony, and it was with these trusted men that he initially took to the streets of Dallas and proclaimed himself as a Street Boss. Although rumored to be a diplomat, the take over of Dallas did not occur without bloodshed. Indeed, in the time that Battista and his crew ran their business on the streets, the city saw more than it’s fair share of death. The lives of brothers Tony and Angelo being claimed during the struggle, men that would never live to see their older brother’s true rise to power.

The word on the street is that Tom Tanzini, the old Godfather of Dallas, paid Andre a visit one day and pronounced him as a Made Man, and from that day peace was restored to Dallas. Sources indicate that Andre entered into discussions with some of the mob’s top shot callers, and it seems he was subsequently given the go ahead to move his faction out to Los Angeles. It is said that upon taking over the streets of Dallas, Andre received a vast fortune by someone out of New York as a reward for his efforts. This money was no doubt used to purchase businesses, both legal and illegal, as well as pay off law enforcement officers, G men, and court judges throughout the city of LA. By all accounts it would seem as though this transition period went smoothly.

Word on the street is that Andre has been climbing the underworld ranks and is now the Boss of LA, overseeing any and all illegal activities in the city. Although nothing is for certain in the criminal underworld, what is clear is the shift in power, from Dallas to LA.


Violent Crime Wave Strikes The Nation

Police precincts through out the country have reported large spikes in the number of violent crimes being committed during the month of February. The amount of violent crimes committed in America has supposedly increased by more than four times in the passed month, starting a nationwide epidemic. Police units and treasury department teams have increased their street presence across the country in hopes to decrease the number of organized criminals that are beginning to kidnap, rob banks, rob jewelry stores and bribe public officials daily. Supermax prisons have been broken into and had their most violent criminals escape. Members of the underworld have even began to resist arrest, rather than give up peacefully as most often did.

No one knows for sure exactly what the cause for this spike in violent crimes in our great nation maybe be, but word on the street is that it has to do with a new medical procedure that has left the country fearless of death. What ever the reason may be, the recent outbreak of violent crimes has definitely left the country in fear. People have stopped leaving their homes and have taken to locking all the doors and boarding up all of the windows. Small riots have broken out in major cities. There has been talks of the government considering moving martial law into effect to try and regain control of the big cities.

What will the future have in store? Is this the beginning of the end? Has the government lost power to their country to the underworld? Is anarchy inevitable? Stay tuned and keep and eye out for future issues of the West End Times as we venture deeper into this topic.


Joke Of The Week

Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road?
A: FORGET ABOUT IT!


Riddle Of The Week

I am the beginning of the end, the end of every place.
I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space.

What am I?

Classifieds

Are you smart? Do you attribute your intelligence to your reading capacity? I thought you did. Why don't you take a trip down to Schmidt's, the biggest and best library in Los Angeles. Filled with your favorite novels, sports almanacs and even cook books. We have everything, so why don't you give us a read?

Come visited Fred's place the Pool Hall situated in Central Detroit. Perfect place to come kick back play a few games of eight or nine ball. Come and try to beat some of the local pool sharks, or become one yourself! All ages welcome! We have the best lemonade and burgers in town so come on down and find out for yourself.


LOOKING FOR WRITERS

Ever want to have a story that you wrote be read across the nation? Now is your chance! We at the West End Times are looking for writers, whether you are experienced or new to journalism. We offer great wages for writing articles. Topics are readily available to be written about or you can come up with your own. If you have any interest, please contact Mr. Jospeh Ardizzone by telephone, mail or by appointment at the West End Times head office. Address is 1735 Main Street West, Los Angeles, CA, 90021. Thank you.