THE MAFIA GAZETTE Issue 30
For All The News That Is News (E&OE)
11th November 2013
Editor In Chief: Carmela_DeAngelis
Managing Editor: Randle_McMurphy


INTRODUCING NEW FACES
By: Randle McMurphy

I had the pleasure of interviewing two of the country’s newest heads of organised crime this week, Jonathan McCann, and Richard Kuklinski. Jonathan has recently taken control of Las Vegas after his former Detroit family lost a brief war with New York, and Richard was awarded Chicago by NY Don James Burke after the very same war. Two very contrasting beginnings, opposite sides of a violent clash, but both men end up in control of an entire city when things could have turned out so drastically different for them, had lady luck changed her mood.

I began by asking both bosses about their cities, whether it was a chosen desire to head a family in each location, or whether luck had played more of a part in deciding their new homes. Mr McCann gave a very matter-of-fact reply that Las Vegas held no personal significance to him, this was the city offered as his new home by Don Burke after the war in which his previous employer had been killed. Through desire to find a home for his associates, Clan na Gael (family of Gaels) was born, referencing McCann’s connection to the Irish Republican Brotherhood as the origins of the name. “Considering the Detroit involvement in bringing down Jimmy Flynn and my now opportunity to make use of Las Vegas, I decided it was ideal conditions to succeed where Jimmy failed. And that brings us to Clan na Gael in Las Vegas. “

Mr Kuklinski described a sit down with Don Burke and the Godfather, God_Himself, following his actions in the war. “I played a role in taking out the main guns of Chicago and Detroit. I was the family’s underboss at the time so I was approached with the view to expand and run the family out of Chicago.”

I then posed a question to both gentlemen regarding the incredibly violent histories both cities carry, arguably two of the most contended cities in the history of the nation when it comes to organised crime. Richard spoke of his strong support network with his neighbouring cities. He added, “It is a risky city and will need to be handled with care. I will never fill the shoes of the Godfather, I just hope to continue his vision of a man in control of the city.” Mr McCann spoke of his plans to build strong links with families across the nation through a revitalisation of the Vegas business district. He also downplayed the violent history of the city, “I do not believe Las Vegas herself needs to be considered a troubled or violent city. I believe that is determined by the family that inhabits it.” I also asked McCann about the potential hazard from New York, given the demise of his former boss. “Despite the early bumps we had, I do not believe James Burke would have signed off on giving me authorization to set up in Las Vegas if his intention was to steamroll us just as we found out footing.”

Mr Kuklinski had some words about the Chicago business district. “The business district in Chicago is one of my primary areas of concentration. Applications are personally vetted but once my family grows a man who shares my vision will be empowered to its up keep. For now I'm looking for creativity, a unique spin that will attract people to Chicago.” I asked if there would be a heavier toll set on businesses such as bars, which appear in abundance. “Businesses will be strategy distributed across Chicago, with no involvement in Narcotics from my family, appeasing the federal government is easy for now.
If a speakeasy is presented to me and I think it can work with Prohibition in full force it will be approved.”

The final questions were of a more light-hearted nature. I asked Mr McCann how he and his Irish brethren were coping in the desert heat of Nevada, since the Irish weren’t known for their love of the sun… “Aha! You're right there. The desert is absolutely devastating. Makes a man drink far more than he normally would. Though looking back on Irish history, we wouldn't be the first Irish people sentenced to the desert. The difference here being that the gold we hope to earn here is ours and ours alone to keep.”

To Mr Kuklinski, I posed the question of what animal would he be and why, if it were possible to choose… “My brother spent time in Africa, he got roped into some crusade when we was younger. Where he was travelling the Great Plains I was banging heads together in New Jersey. He came back and to help him out I got him involved in this thing of ours, tried to show him the ropes. How to collect, how to behave and how to hit.

He turned to me one day and said "Richard, in Africa I saw this animal they call a Rhino. The local tribesmen stay away and the soldiers avoid it to. It's funny looking, bigger and stronger than most but still doesn't look like it belongs. That's not because it goes looking for trouble either, it's because of that temper of yours. When angry, you lower your head, pick your target and charge and god help anything that gets in your way."

So with that said I'd agree. A Rhino.”

It is worth noting I did attempt to interview the third recent new face, Vincent Gigante, who has taken control of Detroit with his family The Purple Gang. Mr Gigante politely declined to be interviewed for the paper, simply quoting, “This is organised crime, how organised do you think it would be of me as a syndicate head to talk about business?”

We at The Mafia Gazette wish all three men the best of luck in their new ventures.


ET TU, BRUTE?
By: Anony Mouse

Last night Miami was rocked by revelations that three fully fledged members had been planning the attempted assassination Miami king pin Joseph Di Varco and in turn taking control of the criminal syndicate which occupied the state. The three members said to be involved in the attempted coup were Vincent Salvatore, Holy and Max Payne. Joseph Di Varco knew of their plan yet, foolishly, decided not to do anything as he would not believe that anybody would commit such a treacherous act. Especially three men who he trusted completely and had helped guide them to a successful career in Miami.

Two of the three members who planned to coup were found dead under suspicious circumstances. Max Payne was found stabbed in his jail cell by an unknown assailant whilst Holy was murdered in Dallas by Aaron Boone over an argument concerning the protection of a citizen. Vincent Salvatore and the son of Max Payne continue to plan to coup their boss yet Joseph continues to brush off any suggestion when the subject is raised.

The Dying Breed has come under severe criticism over the past couple of weeks about how the outfit is being run, it seems like the boss of the organisation has no control over what his members do and they are close to crossing a line which could lead to heavy consequences. Rumours were spreading like wild fire that Mr Salvatore was planning to avenge Holy’s death by attempting to kill Aaron Boone, the man who ended the life of Salvatore’s close friend. This did not sit well with New York Don James Burke who confronted Joseph down the IRC Avenue who went on to strenuously deny that Salvatore planned to attack the New York Made Man and vouched for him.

It is believed that New York feel that the Miami outfit is on their final chance even though Don Burke has extremely close ties with Joseph he feels that he cannot afford to let Miami make any more mistakes. However it is believed that if any members do attempt to coup Joseph they will be punished by death at the hands of New York if they are successful.


A HOLY COCK-UP
By: Gentleman Jack

Never trust a Roman. At least that’s what appears to be the message given recent events. The short version; Acili Pilaki asked Roman Ford to take the ownership deeds of his horses in case he died in the short Detroit/NY war, as he was openly advertising that he was affiliated with Miami, in particular a personal associate of Made Man Holy. Roman agreed, and incidentally Acili did not die in the ensuing war. Far from it, he is now Capo with the same Miami outfit Roman claimed to represent.

But this citizen was telling fibs. After several days of being ignored by Ford, Acili started to ask around and found out that the people he claimed were protecting him weren’t that friendly with him at all. Although Holy did admit to knowing the man and trusting him, he balked at getting involved with the squabble over Acili’s prized horses. Vouching for Ford, in any capacity, soon proved a fatal mistake for Holy. After the argument started, Holy dropped his affiliations with the Miami outfit The Dying Breed, and fled the city. Eventually being gunned down in Dallas, his killer was allegedly Aaron Boone of New York crime family Winter Tempest Society, although official reports still list the crime as unsolved.

After his death, rumours of a plot involving Holy to coup Miami Consigliere Joseph DiVarco emerged, adding more complications to an already murky situation. Was his death a result of his alleged plans? Or was he killed for vouching for a snake? Unfortunately the only man who knows for sure is now pushing up daisies in a Dallas cemetery, and is not feeling particularly talkative…


A YEAR AT THE HELM
By: Randle McMurphy

Two days ago saw the passing of a figure rarely reached in our turbulent times, the one year anniversary of Emilia Ricci in the life. Long known as a business where mobsters live fast and die young, the numbers who reach a year in the business are slim, and always worthy of mention. LA Capo Nick_T arranged an open-invitation surprise party for Emilia, held in the family HQ. The LA Boss gave an emotional speech to mark her anniversary, which I feel will speak for itself.

"This means a lot that time and effort has been taken in making this a special day for me. I have lived a lot longer than what I had anticipated because let’s face it generally within this thing of ours the life span of a leader are not very long, I have had the pleasure of being in Los Angeles, my city, my city of Angels for a long time now. And I love the city and those within as much as I did when I first come here." she grinned before carrying on.

"One thing that time has taught me is that you never turn your back on your family, both those within and those that you have outside, not many seem to see it that way but I am happy. I would not change one thing, not a single thing. I would not have caused wars when they were not necessary and I still maintain that dialogue is our best line of defence. Some will never agree with me but you know what, this is my city and I run it how I want, if people do not agree then really that's tough."

We at The Mafia Gazette would like to congratulate Emilia on her first anniversary, and look forward to writing about her second.


THE MIAMI MUTES
By: Nikolai Topovski

There is a crime family in Miami. I know, shocking. It may come as a surprise to some, but there is a Consigliere named Joseph-DiVarco who runs a family called The Dying Breed. The name may be apt, because all they appear to be doing is hanging around and waiting for death.

The streets seem void of any interaction from their members, and they do not appear to have featured in any of the wars taking place between various factions of organised crime. So, what have Miami done?

Well, they’ve erm… Then there was that time when they… And the thing with those guys… No, actually, in recent history I can’t think of a single newsworthy bit of activity to come out of Miami, apart from the odd member being killed by other families without a hint of retribution from the Miami Consigliere.

I would love to write you a long and in-depth piece about their contribution to the criminal underworld, but unfortunately they have yet to do anything of note. Here’s hoping this article will spur them on to be a little more active in the community, and a little less reclusive.


WEEKLY MOB AWARDS
By: Joe King

Most effeminate mobster award goes to…
JackieCogan, Las Vegas Capo who looks like he takes his grooming routine a little too far!

Manly Toughness award goes to…
Vincent-Gigante, for his stonewall refusal to let Randle McMurphy persuade him into breaking Omerta.

Beard of the Week goes to…
Joseph. The Miami heat may not be the ideal place for it, but his beard is magnificent!

Horse name of the Week goes to…
Bitch Give Me Crabs. We’ve all been there…


THE WORD ON THE STREET
By: Joe King

The word on the street is… Richard_Kuklinski likes to cuddle.
The word on the street is… EmiliaRicci is getting old.
The word on the street is… Harry_Aleman is not an ale man.
The word on the street is… Sakazuki is AWOL.
The word on the street is… Pink prefers brown.
The word on the street is… John_Nardi has a gambling problem.
The word on the street is… Roman-Ford is a man you can trust.


REVIEWERS WANTED!
By: Randle McMurphy

The Mafia Gazette is now actively recruiting reviewers for the business districts around the country. We would like to write a small review of a business from each city on a weekly basis, and need you to get reviewing! How would you like to eat, drink, dance, and be paid for the privilege? Pay rates and expenses are negotiable, contact Randle_McMurphy for more information.


CLASSIFIEDS
All classified ads are free. Mail your advert to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette Offices in Chicago to have them included in the next issue.

WRITERS WANTED
Gazette writers wanted. Good rates of pay. Hours negotiable. Apply to Randle_McMurphy at the Gazette offices in Chicago.